am I who God wants me to be?

yesterday we had a pretty cool 6:22, it was a "soak" service (resting in the presence of God)... i must admit my mind wandered all aorund the place, but it was good to lie down and rest. i would ball up and just let God cuddle with me. sometimes all you need is an embrace, and He can't embrace you if you push away by distracting yourself from Him. in a sense, it's like when Stephen says "look at me..." when he's gonna say a sentence that is very important and meaningful. God says "look at me..." and He just wants to love me, and words come extra, His presence and my presence is enough. we don't need words... He knows me deeper than anyone else, flaws, mistakes, pet peeves, food pickiness--- He knows all. He sees my heart, He sees my selfish pride, my broken heart, my frustrations, anxiety, plans, dreams, thoughts, emotions. He penetrates me entirely, and I surrender because there is no one else i rather be with. it doesn't make me better, in fact, i realize my humanness when i'm with God. and you know what? I embrace my humanness--- I'm not God, and I was never meant to be God. I pursue doing God's will, but I fail bc i'm human. and God knows my heart and my intentions and why i fail when i do. i don't need to prove myself to anyone because my identity is found in God (refer to "Les Miserables") and not what the world says.

in communication we found that "i am who i think you think i am." but i say, "i am who i think You think i am" .... God not only sees everything external, but also everything internal. He sees our intentions and everything everyone else doesn't see. so yeah, i'm not perfect, but God knows I'm trying to be the person He wants me to be.