yet again another quote from Relient K:
And You said, "I know that this will hurt,
but if I don't break your heart, things will just get worse.
If the burden seems too much to bear,
remember...
The end will justify the pain it took to get us there."
whatever it takes for eternal joy with my greatest Love.... it's like a punishment by your parents, only to make you a better person. c'est tout. that your parents reprimand you doesn't mean they don't love you (on the contrary!) it's the same with God. HE loves you. you cna push it away, but He's still madly in love with you.
Monday, May 30, 2005
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
truth
and i’ve been housing all this doubt
and insecurity
and i’ve been locked inside that house
all the while You hold the key
and i’ve been dying to get out
and that might be the death of me
and even though there’s no way of knowing where to go
i promise i’m going
because i got to get out of here
i’m stuck inside this rut that i fell into by mistake
i got to get out of here
and i’m begging You
(i’m begging You)
i’m begging You to be my escape
i fought You for so long
i should have let You win
oh, how we regret those things we do
and all I was trying to do
was save my own skin...
oh, but so were You...
so were You
-- Be my escape, Relient K...
i love the very end phrase--- all i was trying to do was save my own skin, but so were You....
people get so confused. they think God is judgemental, they think God is against them. they close themselves, they think that their guilt is how God feels about them.
don't you see? God has never stopped loving you, and He never ever will.
people get so confused, they think hell is God saying I don't want you anymore. God never says that! He's constantly after our hearts, trying to fulfill us, trying to give us perfect love (i shall emphasize-- PERFECT LOVE)... He sacrificed everything He had for us, because He wants us soooo badly. He's madly in love with you, can't you see? think about it, is there anyone you want so badly you would give up absolutely everything for? well God did that for you. He wants you mroe tahn you want anything else....
so what is hell?
hell is our choosing to stay away. think of it in human terms... think of God as a person. ok, so God is chasing after you, He leaves you notes, He leaves you messages in your answering machine. He e-mails you, He puts notes on your locker, front door, car.... He's chasing after you deperately, He loves you that much. He desires you like no one else ever will. and you can respond in two ways:
you can fall in love with Him... you can see how much He wants you, and how happy He makes you... you can admit to yourself, God fulfills me... or at least say, hey He pursues me so much i will give Him a try. I want to know about this abundant perfect love He says He has for me.
OR
you can say.... i don't want you. i want so and so. or not right now, i have homework. or you can be apathetic. eh... God? not so hot. Billy's hotter. but you'll be left with this empty pain inside, and you'll try to fill it with ther things. and the more you avoid God, the more you avoid what He has in store for you, the darker you become. that's hell.... your choice of separating yourself from God. it's not God saying i don't want you, it's you saying i don't want God. i don't want to love. i don't want to know about goodness....
Jesus doesn't provide a magic happy bubble. i think some people perceive me as insanely optimistic, as insane and unrealistic. that's ok. you can perceive me any way yuo want to. truth is, God is still chasing you, and no matter if i say it or not, no matter if i want to or not, it's the truth. I will not deny what is truth.... sure, the world hurts, sure there's chaos, there's mass destruction, but that's not from God. God is pure goodness.... even more than nutella! even more than your favorite music, or rain, or the beach.
thought i might tell you the truth.
and insecurity
and i’ve been locked inside that house
all the while You hold the key
and i’ve been dying to get out
and that might be the death of me
and even though there’s no way of knowing where to go
i promise i’m going
because i got to get out of here
i’m stuck inside this rut that i fell into by mistake
i got to get out of here
and i’m begging You
(i’m begging You)
i’m begging You to be my escape
i fought You for so long
i should have let You win
oh, how we regret those things we do
and all I was trying to do
was save my own skin...
oh, but so were You...
so were You
-- Be my escape, Relient K...
i love the very end phrase--- all i was trying to do was save my own skin, but so were You....
people get so confused. they think God is judgemental, they think God is against them. they close themselves, they think that their guilt is how God feels about them.
don't you see? God has never stopped loving you, and He never ever will.
people get so confused, they think hell is God saying I don't want you anymore. God never says that! He's constantly after our hearts, trying to fulfill us, trying to give us perfect love (i shall emphasize-- PERFECT LOVE)... He sacrificed everything He had for us, because He wants us soooo badly. He's madly in love with you, can't you see? think about it, is there anyone you want so badly you would give up absolutely everything for? well God did that for you. He wants you mroe tahn you want anything else....
so what is hell?
hell is our choosing to stay away. think of it in human terms... think of God as a person. ok, so God is chasing after you, He leaves you notes, He leaves you messages in your answering machine. He e-mails you, He puts notes on your locker, front door, car.... He's chasing after you deperately, He loves you that much. He desires you like no one else ever will. and you can respond in two ways:
you can fall in love with Him... you can see how much He wants you, and how happy He makes you... you can admit to yourself, God fulfills me... or at least say, hey He pursues me so much i will give Him a try. I want to know about this abundant perfect love He says He has for me.
OR
you can say.... i don't want you. i want so and so. or not right now, i have homework. or you can be apathetic. eh... God? not so hot. Billy's hotter. but you'll be left with this empty pain inside, and you'll try to fill it with ther things. and the more you avoid God, the more you avoid what He has in store for you, the darker you become. that's hell.... your choice of separating yourself from God. it's not God saying i don't want you, it's you saying i don't want God. i don't want to love. i don't want to know about goodness....
Jesus doesn't provide a magic happy bubble. i think some people perceive me as insanely optimistic, as insane and unrealistic. that's ok. you can perceive me any way yuo want to. truth is, God is still chasing you, and no matter if i say it or not, no matter if i want to or not, it's the truth. I will not deny what is truth.... sure, the world hurts, sure there's chaos, there's mass destruction, but that's not from God. God is pure goodness.... even more than nutella! even more than your favorite music, or rain, or the beach.
thought i might tell you the truth.
Friday, May 06, 2005
strength
a sad song softly sings in my heart
i simply feel it’s gentle sting
facing reality was never so cruel before
i faced myself first,
then one by one,
my failures and tries…
the introspection
found me
on the floor,
defeated
my soul saw
so much
sadness
loss
famine
starvation….
i whispered my prayer,
scarred and scared…
silent tears cried out to God…
shaking, fearful, unworthy, and human…
face to face with Omniscience
i know nothing
face to face with Omnipotence
i can do nothing
nothing at all….
impotence?
frustration?
no…
human misery
glorifies Worthiness...
circumstances,
instances out of my hand
will unravel magnificently
circumstances,
instances out of my hand
need not be procured by my mind
but by faith
will unravel magnificently
sadness
loss
famine
starvation
are passer by’s….
unwanted visitors
with tainted scruples
yet strengthening my walk…
darkness may cover my eyes
may try to cover my spirit
but never my heart…
i simply feel it’s gentle sting
facing reality was never so cruel before
i faced myself first,
then one by one,
my failures and tries…
the introspection
found me
on the floor,
defeated
my soul saw
so much
sadness
loss
famine
starvation….
i whispered my prayer,
scarred and scared…
silent tears cried out to God…
shaking, fearful, unworthy, and human…
face to face with Omniscience
i know nothing
face to face with Omnipotence
i can do nothing
nothing at all….
impotence?
frustration?
no…
human misery
glorifies Worthiness...
circumstances,
instances out of my hand
will unravel magnificently
circumstances,
instances out of my hand
need not be procured by my mind
but by faith
will unravel magnificently
sadness
loss
famine
starvation
are passer by’s….
unwanted visitors
with tainted scruples
yet strengthening my walk…
darkness may cover my eyes
may try to cover my spirit
but never my heart…
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Water
so i stand still
close my eyes
hold my breath…
and the water pours
rushing
raging
flooding quickly this empty place
this futile empty temple
made of cold marble and old dust….
my feet are planted
my arms are stiff
my eyes, scared,
look,
grasp for
a safe and dry place
but the water rushes in…
everything turns
spins
crashes
water takes control of me
my legs shake
my eyes cry,
silently and violently
like the water flooding in…
my feet are floating
my arms swing madly
my eyes are shut…
anxious, i await some tragedy
some drowned fantasy
some desperate end
the water
rages
crashes
spins
rushes
turns
the water
violently thrusts
aggressively presses
passionately plunges
and i…
i cease the insane fight
i let go
and the Water carries me
to a place of safe haven
a place of dry land…
where doves have found
their olive branch…
close my eyes
hold my breath…
and the water pours
rushing
raging
flooding quickly this empty place
this futile empty temple
made of cold marble and old dust….
my feet are planted
my arms are stiff
my eyes, scared,
look,
grasp for
a safe and dry place
but the water rushes in…
everything turns
spins
crashes
water takes control of me
my legs shake
my eyes cry,
silently and violently
like the water flooding in…
my feet are floating
my arms swing madly
my eyes are shut…
anxious, i await some tragedy
some drowned fantasy
some desperate end
the water
rages
crashes
spins
rushes
turns
the water
violently thrusts
aggressively presses
passionately plunges
and i…
i cease the insane fight
i let go
and the Water carries me
to a place of safe haven
a place of dry land…
where doves have found
their olive branch…
dignity and humbleness
i'm not the best-- i am mediocre, but God loves me anyways. i have been feeling like i'm not the best representative of Christ... and I'm sure I haven't been, but God never expected perfection from me, He expected surrender, and that's what i'm doing. I can't deal with all of this on my own, and i'm not supposed to. I never was supposed to. that's where the difference lies... i am weak and fragile, but God is strong and sturdy for me. I don't have to be....
I praise God because He has been faithful in all instances, because He never ever left my side (even when i couldn't feel Him) I praise God for all the good He will carry out, through me, through you, through His angels and saints. I praise God for His holiness--- His endless goodness and mercy are overflowing, and He has infinite mercy on those who ask. I asked. (you should too!) :-D
i am unworthy. i am mediocre. i am dust in the wind. and i'm glad i realized all of that. one can't be humbled enough.... (i lift You high and bow down low, how high can You be? how low can i go? You must increase, i must decrease Lord, i'll bow down, and You will be adored!)
plus, it's not over. what ghandi admired about Jesus is that He would fall down, they struck Him and humiliated Him, and He would rise up, He didn't give in. He did so with an odd mix of humbleness and dignity. He knew His worth in the Father's eyes--- He didn't need to prove Himself before men. He could have said--- Father--- strike them down! look how they insult their King!!! but instead He took the blows, the strikes, the insults. He took them out of humbleness, but with dignity.... how odd.... and wonderful. dignity? yes dignity. He never felt the need to bow to the "powers of the earth"... He knew His worth. I hope and pray you know your worth in God's eyes and not your own. in my eyes i'm scum, but God sees so much more, and i rather trust Him--- He's my salvation....
I praise God because He has been faithful in all instances, because He never ever left my side (even when i couldn't feel Him) I praise God for all the good He will carry out, through me, through you, through His angels and saints. I praise God for His holiness--- His endless goodness and mercy are overflowing, and He has infinite mercy on those who ask. I asked. (you should too!) :-D
i am unworthy. i am mediocre. i am dust in the wind. and i'm glad i realized all of that. one can't be humbled enough.... (i lift You high and bow down low, how high can You be? how low can i go? You must increase, i must decrease Lord, i'll bow down, and You will be adored!)
plus, it's not over. what ghandi admired about Jesus is that He would fall down, they struck Him and humiliated Him, and He would rise up, He didn't give in. He did so with an odd mix of humbleness and dignity. He knew His worth in the Father's eyes--- He didn't need to prove Himself before men. He could have said--- Father--- strike them down! look how they insult their King!!! but instead He took the blows, the strikes, the insults. He took them out of humbleness, but with dignity.... how odd.... and wonderful. dignity? yes dignity. He never felt the need to bow to the "powers of the earth"... He knew His worth. I hope and pray you know your worth in God's eyes and not your own. in my eyes i'm scum, but God sees so much more, and i rather trust Him--- He's my salvation....
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