dignity and humbleness

i'm not the best-- i am mediocre, but God loves me anyways. i have been feeling like i'm not the best representative of Christ... and I'm sure I haven't been, but God never expected perfection from me, He expected surrender, and that's what i'm doing. I can't deal with all of this on my own, and i'm not supposed to. I never was supposed to. that's where the difference lies... i am weak and fragile, but God is strong and sturdy for me. I don't have to be....

I praise God because He has been faithful in all instances, because He never ever left my side (even when i couldn't feel Him) I praise God for all the good He will carry out, through me, through you, through His angels and saints. I praise God for His holiness--- His endless goodness and mercy are overflowing, and He has infinite mercy on those who ask. I asked. (you should too!) :-D

i am unworthy. i am mediocre. i am dust in the wind. and i'm glad i realized all of that. one can't be humbled enough.... (i lift You high and bow down low, how high can You be? how low can i go? You must increase, i must decrease Lord, i'll bow down, and You will be adored!)

plus, it's not over. what ghandi admired about Jesus is that He would fall down, they struck Him and humiliated Him, and He would rise up, He didn't give in. He did so with an odd mix of humbleness and dignity. He knew His worth in the Father's eyes--- He didn't need to prove Himself before men. He could have said--- Father--- strike them down! look how they insult their King!!! but instead He took the blows, the strikes, the insults. He took them out of humbleness, but with dignity.... how odd.... and wonderful. dignity? yes dignity. He never felt the need to bow to the "powers of the earth"... He knew His worth. I hope and pray you know your worth in God's eyes and not your own. in my eyes i'm scum, but God sees so much more, and i rather trust Him--- He's my salvation....