confession

it's official--- i didn't make it in.

and i started thinking---
i've never been the best at anything. nope. not the best at school. not the best of friends. not the best of students. not the best at art. not the best at being nice. not the prettiest, not the kindest. not the happiest. not the most outspoken. not the shyest. not the best Christian, not the best sister. not the best daughter. not the best girlfriend. not the best human. not the best at writing. not the best at talking. not the best at being polite. not the best at doing my work. not the best at socializing. not the best at making people smile.

i'm just not the best. i'm mediocre, i'm your average person. can't say i'm the best at anything. i'm not memorable, not special. i tried... but never too hard.... that's what makes me mediocre....

i am a human and i cared so much for people.... i can say i've cared.... so much that it hurts the depths of my soul.... so much, that i neglected other things....

i'm unorganized, i have horrible crafsmanship.... i am self-centered, i seek praise. i like sympathy (although i don't expect comments.... this is not my pity me talk...), i like to be held... i'm fragile. so fragile.

i admit it... i'm the worst of them all.






and the random song lyrics in my head----
"the beautiful thing about the desert, is it that it has water in its interior" it's not over, it's on....