V

Her black sleek shoes are abused. They were meant for dancing, for a party, for glamour. Today, a dark cold rainy evening, they are covered in thick mud. Her face, beautiful and gentle, was smeared with black mascara. Her body, fragile, covered in black silk... how she loved him! how she wished she was elsewhere, how she wished she could have done something before. Regret. Frustration. Pain. Mourning.... part of her was buried with him.
She put mascara on. She wished to be beautiful still. But why? Her day started with mere thoughts of him. But he was no longer in this dimension... He could no longer touch her face or tell her it was all going to be all right. He would no longer see her. beautiful for who? For the dirt? For the falling leaves in a peaceful place? Or was it for the rain? Could the rain appreciate her efforts to look beautiful? Would the rain tell her she looked beautiful?
She woke up in the middle of the night. Tomorrow they would see each other. Her face lit up, shining in that dark cold night. She wished he lied beside her, so that she might embrace him, hold him close, tell him how much he meant to her. She slowly drifted into a pleasant sleep, as she thought of him. But the phone rang. Bad news. His best friend, sobbing, tortured soul-- she told how he had died in a car crash. He had drunk... who knows? ten.. twelve... forty beers? what does it matter? he died, he is gone.
the sunset's melody made her smile. she had so much life and want in her. patience was much easier when she thought he was coming tomorrow. she glowed, she sang. she cleaned her house. she danced in a silly fashion all around her house. she cooked with such a contempt, with such ease. she sang her happiest song.
he called during lunch break. he let her know he'd be in town tomorrow. she smiled and made plans in her mind.
she struggled. she couldn't allow him to do this. she believed getting drunk was wrong. she had never had more than a pina colada. she couldn't believe anyone would choose to impair their mind, put themselves at a risk for such a great loss. however, she swallowed her words. she couldn't tell him. she couldn't tell him she cared so much. she couldn't tell him not to do as he chose. that would imply being nosy, it would imply a break in their friendship. it would make her judgemental and harsh. it would make her old-fashioned. geek. naive, slow. stupid. she chose a deep silence that stung her heart.
she struggled. she couldn't allow him to do this. she believed getting drunk was wrong. she had never had more than a pina colada. she couldn't believe anyone would choose to impair their mind, put themselves at a risk for such a great loss.slowly, thoughtfully, she let her heart speak. she had to tell him. she cared too much to let him fall. it was his decision in the end, but she had to share her heart and her thoughts on his actions. isn't love like this? aren't you supposed to go through fire and hardships? refinement through fire. she understood she could never change anyone, it was only possible to change herself. but maybe she could have a bit of an impact on someone...
he called during lunch break. he let her know he'd be in town tomorrow. she smiled and made plans in her mind.
the sunset's melody made her smile. she had so much life and want in her. patience was much easier when she thought he was coming tomorrow. she glowed, she sang. she cleaned her house. she danced in a silly fashion all around her house. she cooked with such a contempt, with such ease. she sang her happiest song.
She woke up in the middle of the night. Tomorrow they would see each other. Her face lit up, shining in that dark cold night. She wished he lied beside her, so that she might embrace him, hold him close, tell him how much he meant to her. She slowly drifted into a pleasant sleep, as she thought of him. the sound of silence was always the sound of peace.
She put mascara on. She wished to be beautiful this morning full of hope. she looked forward to this day, the day he'd arrive. she slipped her pretty red dress on, and those sleek black shoes she loved. her face , fragile and young, glowed warmth.
they went to dinner. her shoes tapped the wood floor. they swinged danced through the night.