a bit sleepy

well last night was half lovely, half distressful....

some people do deserve a kick-butt for their thick headedness, but we shall remain nameless.... ;) think rainbow sherbet and creme soda instead, PLEASE!

well for everyone wondering-- i did start apprenticing yesterday at a trophy place. i don't yet know if i'm gonna stay or not, being that i feel stupid and slow in my work, and the tutor (?) she's not extremely friendly and she can't teach how to apprentice very well....

tomorrow i get to pick my books from ECU... i must admit i am excited, i really like my classes next semester (and i would post them, but being that i have... umm.. 4 friends at ECU, i doubt i'll have classes with any of them)...

and as for the topic of my emotional life (which i have been avoiding)... i just have to repeat-- patience and time... i could just run and be like juliet... but i don't want to fall passionately in love with an idea of love, i want to truly love someone... flaws and everything... and sometimes present time makes us see an alternate reality which is not the big picture... i don't know... time tests and proves whether a person is in love with another person, or with the idea of love... along that matter-- time gives a chance to grow and fall in love with God in a deeper way... that's how i want to view my singleness-- as a chance for me to grow and fall more deeply for God. I want to be crazy mad in love with God, I want to get carried away and shine like the sun (or the Son?). I want to learn about God and I want Him to speak to me... wow... i just realized the importance of the present time and my duties today... i often look so much into the future that i forget i'm stuck with today... which reminds me of
"and i find myself just living for today, 'cause i don't know what tomorrow's gonna bring.. and no matter if rise or fall.. i'll never be alone noooooooo! Nothing compares, to the greatness of knowing you Lord... noooo...." (third Day, nothing compares) and also
"in my dreams, i see visions of the future... but today we have today" (Switchfoot, "the economy of mercy")

i always have a song stuck in my head!