ouchie

it's one of those days--

it all went well.. you just need someone to hold you and tell you they love you unconditionally... and they give you a hug, or a rub on the arm, they tell you "hey.. it's gonna be ok".... sometimes that's all i need to feel much better...

maybe i'm bipolar... i was pretty giddy the past few days.. or maybe everything is starting to sink in-- all my feelings... or i just simply want things to be static, stay in a moment.. and that's just unrealistic-- all things change always (except for God)... i thouhgt about it today... i want this guy to stay, i want my feelings for him to stay, i want his feelings for me to stay... and i said... ok let's suppose it all happens... he does not belong to me... even if we were to get married and ahev kids and grand kids... i'd have to give him back, he was only lent to me by God, a gift in my life. so whether is a very short time, or a very very long time, it will change sooner or later. it's pretty disturbing, unless i tihnk.. well it's God's will, and His will is perfect and it's for true deep eternal happiness... be it as He wills, despite my feelings....